Relationship Reflections

I've always felt that building and being in relationships challenge us to be better.  I feel that relationships give us character and show us how to treat others.  Some relationships are good and some are not, but they all have a purpose; for us to learn and grow.  In truth people need relationships so that they do not feel so isolated.  They need to feel like they matter to someone else.  Our first experiences with relationships, begin with our parents.  They show us how we should trust the world and give us the blueprint for how to interact with people.  I have been blessed with strong relationships in my life and I continue to learn from them all the time. 
The strongest relationships I have now are with my son, my sister, two of my best friends who have known me for over 17 years.  I have friends that I am coming to know and build relationships with who have also impacted my life in very meaningful ways.  I have developed relationships with the children and families over the years who have come to mean so much to me.  It is through these relationships that I have learned what kind of person I can become and what kind of person I really am.
My relationship with my son is the most important to me.  It is through him that I exhibit the most tenacious part of my personality.  I push him to be better than just average, to try his best at whatever he does, to be respectful of others and not to be afraid to make mistakes.  This is how we learn, when mistakes are made.  The relationship I have with my sister is very important because she is someone I look up to.  She has many struggles in her life right now and I am determined to be there for her the best way I can just as she was there for me through college, the birth of my son and my separation.  I rely heavily on my friends for support, comfort and fun when the time comes and they depend on me for these things as well.  I try to be a support for all of the people in my life and do not like it if I cannot be there when they need me.  I try hard to check on everyone and keep in contact but with people being spread out and with various schedules, it can be hard but each time I call or go back, it's like I never left.
The challenge that I am learning now is maintaining certain relationships.  It's hard to keep up with someone when you don't see or speak to them often, and I don't like feeling as if I've let anyone down.  I don't do well with disappointment especially if I let someone else down! I've learned that this past week.  Because I pride myself on being a support for others, and it really discourages me when they can't count on me, professionally or personally.  
When I think of a partnership, there is a consistent contact of give and take.  Each person doing their part working towards a goal, like in marriage.  I think that some partnerships need to be cultivated and some just come into being.  Right now I am trying to build a partnership with the  co-facilitator of the parenting classes I just started facilitating.  We are getting to know each other and I am still very new at facilitating groups.  I sometimes feel that I am not doing enough in our partnerships and that hinders me from being effective with our parents.  I consider myself a life long learner and have learned that there is a strong passion inside of me to better serve and impact the parent that are under my care.  I feel that this is what it takes to be effective when working with children and families and I am glad I finally found my passion!

 

Favorite quote

"I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring."
~Liz Armbruster
This is still my favorite quote.  We need to remember that children are the light of the world and they offer an innocence that only a child has.  We as parents and educators need to do everything in our power to ensure that the light never goes out.  Whether we are teaching the parents or teaching young children, we need to do everything to show how important our children are to us.  So often they are getting left behind and seem to be an afterthought in our minds because we often question, "What could I have done?" All we have to do is care and the other actions will fall into place.

Testing for Intelligence?

When it comes to testing children I am very overwhelmed.  I can see the uses for many different areas for children.  I believe that there should be an assessment so that children can have the help they need to be successful in school and in life.  Testing for cognitive, physical, and language development are essential for getting children the services they need or to determine if there is a need for services.  Without these tests, children can fall behind in their development.  But sometimes these tests could be misleading towards the children they are designed to help.  I think that more emphasis should be placed on the cultural differences in children so that there are more unbiased assessments available.  I believe that children should be assessed so that we can determine those who need extra help, but I don't believe children should be labeled because of those assessments.  Children need to feel that they are apart of a classroom community not singled out from it.  There is a strong need to determine what children need extra help and to determine what kind of help they need. With this in mind, assessments should be based more on cognitive, physical and language development.  I am not sure how we can assess the emotional needs of children without labeling them and putting up red flags for children that may not even need them.

Looking at assessment for children in Africa was interesting.  There is a test called the MDAT (Malawi Development Assessment Tool) that is being designed to assess children 0-6 ("Refining the milestones:," 2010).  This test is being designed with the cultural sensitivity to children in Africa.  It would be unfair to use Western testing on these children because they have very different values in their cultural.  This assessment is testing for what is normal for African children ages 0-6.  They have to consider the skill level of each child to determine what is normal for African children. Unfortunately, many African school aged children are not in school so it is hard to have them assessed. But the MDAT is working to develop a tool to use in Early Education to help determine what is normal in development for these children.  I think that this is a good way for tests to be adapted for children here in the US.  With so many different cultures here in the US it is difficult to pinpoint what is normal for today's children.  

Reference:

Refining the milestones: assessing child development in africa. (2010, August 11). Retrieved from http://wellcometrust.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/refining-the-milestones-assessing-child-development-in-africa/

When I was a little girl....

When I was about 11 years old, I remember my family packing up and going to live with my grandmother in her one bedroom apartment.  It was me, my mother, sister and brother all living with my grandmother. My father had to go live with his mother because there wasn't enough room.  A few months after moving in, hurricane Hugo hit.  I remember my sister waking me up in the middle of the night screaming.  Apparently a bug had crawled into her ear and she did not appreciate it (she's three and a half years older than me!).  I would have slept right through it if she had not awakened me with her loud shrieks.  I remember hearing the sound of a train and then it was calm and quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.  I asked what was going on and I always remember the answer, the eye of the storm.  Apparently the eye of the storm passes over and it seems for a short period of time it seems as if the storm is over.  Giving you false hope that you can take a deep breath and relax.  Then it starts up again.  I remember the first time going outside when the storm was actually over.  Trees were down, power lines were lying in the middle of the street, no one had any power to store food or even cook.  I remember going with my aunt to her house for the first after the hurricane.  The water level was up to the door and we had to wade in the water to get inside.  But the main memories I have of the hurricane were of afterwards.  We went to the store and stocked up on water, can goods, and bread.  We bought a small grill and charcoal.  We all worked together to cook and make sure my grandmother didn't have to do much.  We had so much fun with each other.  We were excited that we didn't have to go to school.  We had slumber parties every night for almost a week with my cousins, aunt, my brother and sister.  Our parents were careful to make sure we had the basic necessities and we didn't mind at all!   We were there for each other so it didn't seem like much of a stressing situation at all.  We were a family and that was all that mattered.

The trouble in Haiti
When the earthquake it Haiti I didn't quite understand the magnitude of what had happened.  How could something this devastating happen to a country already filled with so many deficits and disadvantages.  All the images shown on television were horrific and the first thing that popped in my head was the children...what's going to happen to the children.  I found an article that had tips for educators to help children cope with tragedy in Haiti.  These children are faced with almost half of stressors listed in the course assignment.  Poverty, natural disaster, huger, chaos, disease and violence, just to name of few.  Some of which were not  caused by the Earthquake.  Most of Haiti's population, 80%,  lives in poverty and the literacy rate is about 55%! ("The tragedy in," 2010) This means that the children are not getting the necessary experiences or education they need to break the cycle of poverty.  The children obviously cannot focus on school when they are not getting enough to eat, most likely a proper place to live or clothes to wear.  How then are they expected to survive the natural disasters that have consistently plagued their country.   Many organizations are pulling together to help these children get the basics, food, shelter, water and clothes on their backs.   With something this devastating, having the necessities is essential.  Children were living in tents and organizations are working to put up safe houses. The organization,Hope for Haiti's Children (HFHC), is diligently working to help these children and families find safe homes, food and other supplies they have been lacking since well for decades.  they are working to repair schools so that children can continue their education, providing transportation to and from school so that children can attend school and also providing lunches for these children to eat at school (Bever, 2010). These are just a few efforts to help minimize the affects of the earthquake that so devastated a country already ravished in poverty.

Reference:
The tragedy in haiti: helping children cope tips for educators. (2010). National Association of School Psychologists, Retrieved from http://www.nasponline.org/resources/crisis safety/haiti.aspx

Bever, K. (2010). http://hopeforhaitischildren.org/images/stories/pdf/newsletter/2010newsletter.pdf. Retrieved from www.hopeforhaitischildren.org 

Breastfeeding in Europe

Breastfeeding is a highly important topic to me because of my experience with breastfeeding.  I wasn't able to breastfeed my child like I wanted to because of problems that I had and the lack of support.  There wasn't anyone there to guide me to the problems that came up or to explain how hard it really is.  I feel that if I had proper encouragement and support, then I could have continued trying to breastfeed my child.  I really wanted to give my child the best start possible and I feel that I short changed him in a major way.  This really devastated me!

The article I read discussed how family support is key to breastfeeding mothers in Europe. I believe this was what I needed when I was trying to breastfeed.  Some kind of support.  My family was not around to help support my choice (initially) to breastfeed.  The article mentions the benefits of breastfeeding and how it helps mother and baby.  By learning the benefits and researching how important it is to mother and child this could help many children that are poverty stricken be healthier and even bond with their mother.  The benefits of breast feeding far out weigh some of the inconveniences that people often complain about.  Children are known to have less infections, less skin problems and problems with their weight later on in life.  It also decreases the risk of the mother getting breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis.  This would be how I would share the information with families and pregnant mothers. The beneficial health factors for both mother and child.

Family support key to breastfeeding. (2006, February 10). Retrieved from http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=10301

The Battle Over Birth

Many European women are opting to choose how they want to have their babies.  Many of the women are selecting natural birthing centers to have their babies.  They want to have control over how they give birth.  One mother chose the Birth Center Klausenerplatz in Germany. They suggested natural remedies for her to go into labor, they supported her through the labor with the birthing pool, the rope then the birthing ball.  The mothers there are supported through their natural births and rely on the experience of the midwives.  This was really the experience I wanted for my child but of course there are not many options for a single woman with no medical insurance.  I think that when mothers feel more in control of their birthing experience they appreciate more the hard work that goes into having a child.  They feel more connected to their child and even bond more with their child in the beginning.  I wanted that with my child but did not know how to go about finding out how to get it at the time.  I am grateful for a healthy child but I wish I had more say so in the birthing process.  It's the support from people who listen to what you say you need during this important time in your life that makes the birthing experience positive.

My personal birthing experience

I became a proud mother of an 8lb 4oz 22in baby boy, on December 2, 1999 at 13:59.  I was young and scared because I was just about to graduate college and very unsure of where I wanted to take my career.  I didn't have a job yet and was nervous about graduating.  What am I going to do? How am I going to support a baby?  Will I be a good mother?  These were all questions floating through my head.  Looking back I realize that all of this had an impact on what I fought for.  I really felt overwhelmed, excited and anxious.  When I starting having contractions I was scared.  I remember that I kept pacing, because I read that the more you walk and stay upright, childbirth will go quicker.  I also felt that I couldn't sit down.  I remember that I wanted a natural birth, but once the contractions came full force, I asked for an epidural.  It made me a little sad because I thought I was tougher than that.  I didn't have anyone to guide me through the natural birthing process.  I was in labor for about 14 hours.  I think I missed some of the experience because when it came time to push, I couldn't feel anything and I had to go by the directions of the doctor.  The next thing I saw was my son's face!  It was all worth it!

This of course was an experience close to my heart.  I have been involved with friends who've had babies before but of course my own experience was the best for me. I remember that during my pregnancy I was taking a child development class and the instructor used me as an example for many things.  And what stuck with me the most is the word teratogens.  She called them the "monster makers!"  What a phrase to hear when you're 22 years old and about 5 months pregnant!  I refused to let it get to me though, because I also had many examples of things around me.  I worked in a childcare and after school facility. It bothered me how the afterschoolers would look at me, but I found that being as honest with them as possible and talking to them they really seemed interested in what was going on with the baby.  I had read how mothers emotions when pregnant can affect the baby because of hormones that are released and I was determined to stay as calm as possible.  I saw first hand how a mother's emotions can determine how a child behaves.  A parent had four boys and with all the boys she was depressed during pregnancy.  Each and every child often cried most of the day even after they had been attending the center for years.  They were often inconsolable and sad.  I thought that this was very depressing to hear.

I think that the way a mother views pregnancy, birth and child rearing affects the way she interacts with her child.  These then become factors that affect the child's early education experience.  We as educators have to find a way meet the needs of these children and families with respect to what they have to deal with and what is going on in their lives.