Time Well Spent

Throughout the course of my graduate journey I have learned many things.  For one, I learned where my true passions and goals lie, in the heart of early childhood.  I found my true passion for infants and toddlers and better understand the high quality care they need to have a successful educational experience.  Infants and toddlers is where it all began for me and this course in particular helped me understand that.  Another thing I learned is the hard work that I am willing to put in in order to provide high quality care for children and families.  Researching and understanding the issues and trends of early childhood give me a better understanding of where emphasis needed to be placed in order to help improve the field of early childhood education.  The third thing I learned was that it takes a village, literally. By working with communities and building support for children and families, making connections is important to what we do and an amazing component to providing quality experiences. 

A long term goal is to open my own high quality child development center here in North Carolina.  I understand that it will take a lot of hard work and dedication to make it successful and I plan on making it a positive experience that children and families will never forget!

I want to leave everyone with a couple of my favorite quotes. “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Ghandi and “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.  We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”  Being a preschool teacher supplied me with this so I understand how much those hugs really impact the children and adults. 

 

International jobs in the ECE community

I explored international early childhood websites and a few caught my interests. The International Step by Step Association (ISSA), the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) and the United Nations Education, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) are the organizations I chose to explore further.

The ISSA is an organization partnered with 29 countries to bring quality care and experiences to children in these communities. They have a host of services they offer other agencies as well as parents around the world whose children may not be enrolled in an early education setting. They offer a child centered setting with teachers acting as facilitators in the classroom to provide a nurturing learning environment. This is very similar to the kind of center I want to build and the challenge I chose. I want families to be involved on some level even if their child is not enrolled in the center. They have offices all over the world with their main offices in Amsterdam and Budapest.

The Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development gives information on how to improve the economy by promoting policies that will are best for the social well being of people around the world. They provide research and evidence to governments around the world to help decide how to proceed with the policies that will benefit everyone. They accept people from many educational backgrounds to help broaden their perspective on issues affecting all. They want people who are highly educated and have shown successful performance and results at other organizations. This would be a great organization to be a part of because the economy is very important to all of us. It would give better information on how policies are created and what they base their information on to create these policies. They have a host of jobs that you can apply for and currently have 33 job openings in Paris.

The UNESCO is an organization that seeks to bring global peace to both men and women through helping to wipe out poverty, sustaining development and intercultural dialogue through education, science and cultural competency. They focus on issues in Africa and gender equality around the world. That is why this organization interested me. Issues in Africa have always been of interest to me and being an African American female has given me a very interesting perspective on gender equality. They offer a host of resources and research on gender equality issues and Africa's access to education. They want to employ people who have understand global issues, can work with other nations to have continued dialogue about their concerns and make a commitment to work with a strong team. They need people who are knowledgeable in global and cultural issues. They have a host of positions such as translators, temporary staff in a particular field, interns and associate experts who are required to be at least 32 and a national of a country that contributes to the Associate Experts' Scheme.

References:

Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) www.oecd.org

International Step by Step Association (ISSA) www.issa.nl

United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) www.unesco.org

National and Federal Jobs in the ECE Community

Many of the agencies I explored had their explanation of what the mission of their agency is. I looked for the ones that fit my passion, sparked my interest on another level or shared my goals for early education.

 The Center of the Developing has many avenues in early childhood development. What really interested me was their research on how the brain is wired and shaped from the beginning by our experiences. They examine what happens to the brain as infants and how those experiences shape behaviors and development. They also explore many other issues surrounding the field of early education. They have many positions at the Center but I did not see job opportunities for employment at this time. The positions require at minimum a Bachelor's degree in the area of expertise.

 Zero to Three is another organization the shares my passion for infants and toddlers. There is a lot of research on brain development and issues surrounding infants and toddlers. Their mission statement is to promote the health and development of infants and toddlers. They help policymakers, professionals and parents understand issues surrounding infants and toddlers, so they can provide and support healthy growth and development. The current job available is for a senior web strategist, which I do not have experience for and the experience required is at least 8 years experience with web design and a bachelor’s degree.

 Zfive Mecklenburg County is a local organization in North Carolina that collaborates with other local agencies to provide information and training on infant mental health and provide support for families. They offer open meetings for people interested in learning about infant development and growth. This agency provides support by providing information of other agencies that can help parents and professionals of children ages birth to five. There are no positions listed for the agency and it was difficult to determine what positions are involved with the agencies.

Exploring Roles in the ECE Community: Local and State Levels

The Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina is a wonderful agency dedicated to helping parents utilize better strategies when interacting with their children to help prevent child abuse.  I chose this agency because of their commitment to providing children with the experience of growing up in a nurturing environment and developing secure positive relationships with their parents and caregivers. They offer information and training to other agencies on implementing curricula for families who are at risk for losing their children to foster care.  They also provide support to agencies when implementing these programs to parents to ensure model fidelity.  There are a few positions that I would be interested in such as the coach or coordinator for the different curricula offered through prevent child abuse agency.  The requirements for the positions are not posted but knowledge of the curricula and experience working with children and families is a must.

The Children and Family Services Center in Charlotte, NC is an agency comprised of 10 other agencies working with children and families.  I chose this agency because they have a variety of services to offer children and families.  The other agencies provided health care, counseling, early education services and advocacy services for children.  All of these areas are of importance to me and I would like to be a part of an agency serving in these areas or one of the other agencies that are a part of the family services center. 

The Exceptional Children's Assistance Center is another agency that interested me.  Their mission is to improve the lives of all children, but they have an emphasis on children with disabilities.  They provide education for families on IEPs, advocating for their children and a host of other services available for parents.  They have parent educators who provided information, education and support to parents of children with disabilities.  There are no listed qualifications for the parent educator positions but I feel that this would provide a different avenue for the parent educator skills that I currently possess.

Profile of a Volunteer

The person I chose to view is my Aunt Marie.  Every since I was little, she has been the one to volunteer to take all the children during the summer, she takes care of children and families in the neighborhood and she still has to work two jobs.  She has always been the person more like my grandmother and tries to take care of the world.  Every year during Christmas time, she puts a list together for needy families around the area and gets people to buy things the families need and toys for the children to have.  When she sees a need in the community, she tries to fill it.  She feels like no child should go without if she can help it.  She takes in kids around her neighborhood and they always want to stay with her.  She is also very involved with family as well.  She tries to make it to every niece, nephew, and cousins' special occasion.  She is the only one in the family who makes this effort and she is 1 of 10 siblings, so this is saying and doing alot! 

I know people appreciate the efforts that my aunt puts forth on all occasions.  She tries to make sure the community gets the things they need and still make time for her family.  I always remember her as my favorite aunt because she was one of the ones who took myself and most of my cousins on vacation during the summer.  And that meant a lot to me.  People always know they can come to her when they need something and I'm sure that is comforting to them.  I realized that it is hard for me to voluteer my extra time because I am often trying to keep time for my son, but he's getting older and I feel that my knowledge and efforts could be used for helping others.  I am trying to decide where I want these efforts to go and how to best apply my time.  I want to do more for my community and am looking for a way to fulfill that in the best way possible. 

Using Social Media to Get Connected

My experience with social media is limited to a few things.  I use facebook to keep track of family and some friends from high school.  I know there are professional social media networks, but I just don't have the patience to through many of the sites.  I don't even go on Facebook everyday and I know that there are people who live for facebook.  I also know that people use social media sites to bully children and teenagers.  I think the fact that I enjoy live company so to speak, I feel limited when I use social media websites.  I would much rather connect then speak on the phone or in person.  It seems that social media is so impersonal and is a way for people to hide what they truly are. 

Various social media are very helpful when advocating for children and families.  I think that there are many avenues to use when advocating.  Facebook, blogging and youtube are great ways to get your issues heard and exposed to the world.  They can shed light to a whole different group of people who never new these issues existed.  By sharing your advocacy efforts, you can help educate the public and your circle of friends to get the word out.  You never know who is connected to whom.  By putting the issues out there, you can bring attention to it.  Using these social media sites can be a positive experience for those who use it correctly. 

Advocacy Messages

"Parents who really know it all have the right seat at the right time for their child."
"Read to a child today and spark a lifetime of ambition."
"The odds of one man succeeding in the fashion world 1 in 23,000,000 the odds of having a child with autism 1 in 110."

The first message really stands out because many first time parents know that they need car seats for their babies.  Parents also want to feel that they know what is best for their child and do what is best for their child.  Using other parents in the video who seem to revel in knowing facts about children and then stumping them with the fact about the car seat seem to make their message stronger.  The fact that is was the last fact that you heard and then they made it visual with putting a child in car seat made the message stand out more.  Advertisements that use families often get more responses that are geared toward parents.  They are more likely too remember or go buy what is advertised. 

The message on reading to a child is effective because many children will respond to the different characters used in the advertisement.  If a child sees these characters, then they will more than likely become excited and their parents will watch the message to see what it's about.  The message itself, reading to a child and lifetime ambition a very strong because many parents want their children to have ambition as they get older.  If advertisers connect that with reading then the hopes is that parents will be more like to read to their child. 

In the their message, the numbers really stand out especially when used with a well known fashion icon.  Connecting him to autism makes the message more real to others who have been touched by autism because you think that if a man like Tommy Hilfiger can be effected by autism then maybe I'm not so alone.  It also illuminates the fact that the chances of a child having autism are very strong.  A parent would most likely visit the website to see what information is out there for a parent with an autistic child. 

My Own Capacity

There are two main issues that fuel my passion in the field of early childhood.  One is the quality of care that parents are receiving in early educational settings and the other is access to quality care that children from low socioeconomic backgrounds have.  I feel that my knowledge and experiences throughout my early educational career and my understanding of child development and issues surrounding this gives me more fuel behind my passion.  The fact that I am a continuing learner in that I always want to know more about the issues children and families face and the best ways to serve them also gives me more ways in which to help children and families.  I will use these skills when I open my own child development center to provide high quality care, resources for families such as parenting classes, connections to speech therapists, physical therapists, maybe even job trainings where they can learn a skill to help them become the best they can for their children.  Understanding the challenges that families face and helping them understand how these issues will impact their children is very important.  In order to be more effective in my advocacy efforts, I hope that I can gain a good understanding of how to inform the public about major issues that our young children and families face.  I also would like to learn how I can go about helping set up public policies that will benefit not only children and families but public interests as well. 

My Role as an Advocate

        I started advocating for children and families when I noticed the level of quality that children were receiving varied across the board.  Some teachers really went out of their way to ensure that children received the best early education experiences, others just showed up for the pay check.  The teachers that were more vested in their classroom, children and the curriculum had more knowledge of child development and an understanding of the issues that children and families face.  They were passionate, attentive and wanted to see children get the most out of their experiences.  They knew how to focus on the individual child as well as the classroom as a whole to scaffold learning and assess how and if children were progressing.  This is the type of teacher that I was and I expect no less from those who work in the field.  Knowing the level of differences in the quality that teachers provide, I want to find a way to ensure that teachers understand the needs of the children and families they serve and know how to connect families to the child’s educational experiences. 

                Advocacy can be an extensive process.  It starts with one person who wants to implement change to benefit children and families in their environment.  This can lead to understanding how services can impact children and families in a broader context.  It is important to acknowledge all efforts to improve the quality of services for children and families because not every issue is known to the public.  To be a community leader on early childhood issues, you have to have knowledge of the issues and want to initiate change for children and families.  Having passion and commitment about early childhood issues is also essential.  Becoming educated on the issue, researching the issues and being a part of a community to want to elicit change is what it takes to be a community leader.

                In order to be a state leader on early childhood issues, it takes being elected by the public “to represent the ideas and interests of their communities; therefore the public has the right and the responsibility not only to know their elected officials’ position on pending policy legislation but also to communicate their ideas, therefore influencing the way they are represented” (Kieff, 2009).  Money is the main resource that a state leader needs to advocate for issues in the community and is in a position to pool other resources and work with organizations to bring light to early education concerns.  Helping others understand the importance of these issues by passing on information and having real life situations that people can relate to helps others get involved.  Understanding the concerns of stakeholders and being able to connect the concerns to the appropriate individuals. 

                Building relationships to connect with others who have the same passion and establishing strong open communication with those involved in the advocacy efforts.  It is important that the messages are the same between advocates and so everyone is on the same page and makes the message that much stronger when it is supported by everyone involved!

Personal Advocacy Reflection

I was a preschool teacher for 12 years and a teacher for the agency for which I am currently employed for 5.  After going through some personal life changes, I decided to apply for an adminstrative position with the agency.  To my surprise and delight I got the job.  When I became a family educator, I struggled with delivering the material so that parents were interested and excited about being in my class.  My supervisor pushed me to do more by believing that I had what it takes.  She helped me set personal goals for myself as well as for my work as a facilitator.  She advocated that our children and families deserved that best services that we could deliver and saw how I could use my background as a preschool teacher to help parents understand the roles they play in their children's lives.  She pushed me to be more responsive, more personable and helped me understand how to challenge the parents to do things that are possible for them but also different from what they've been doing.  She helped me see my role in their lives and encouraged me to keep setting goals for myself.  She's encouraged me to take trainings, continue with school and further my career by asking what I want for myself and for the children and families I serve.  She sets examples by her leadership, persistance, and loving nature to see our team grow and excel.  She often says that she has a hard time letting her brain shut down from thinking of how we can best serve our clients, even when she goes home!  I've never had a supervisor who puts so much faith and strength into her staff and believes whole heartedly in giving our families the best of the best.  This has fueled me to keep striving to learn all that I can, be self motivated to bring my own style to my work and become as resourceful to families as I possibly can. 

Advocacy In Action

My name is Charlene Montgomery and I was a preschool teacher for twelve years.  I received a promotion with the agency I have worked for since 2004 in August of 2010.  I am currently a parent educator for the same agency and thoroughly enjoy my job.  I advocate for parents everyday by collaborating their success with other members of my team, going to trainings to enhance my facilitators skills and gain updated information on how to provide effective services for the children and families I serve.  I plan the groups using a specified curricula and work hard to help parents understand and learn new ways of communication with others and their children, address stress and anger issues and learn child development and positive discipline strategies.  This job is very challenging and is constantly teaching me new things about myself and pushing me to do more and do better to help decrease instances of child abuse for children.

Reflection

I've learned that there is a breakdown in the cohesiveness of early childhood systems.  There needs to me more people involved who understand the develpment of children.  Another point I learned was that the policies in place do not completely reflect the needs of children and families.   Early childhood systems are important so that children are receiving the care and education they need to succeed in school and in life.  Parents also need to be involved so that they understand how important their involvement is to their child's development and their education.

My goal is still to open my own child development center.  I want children and families to have such a complete educational experience that when they are ready to enter kindergarten parents are able to further advocate for what their child needs, understand how their children learn and be able to articulate what they know is best for their child. 

My Family

My husband and I just found out the my infant daughter will be born with down's syndrome.  This is our first child and my husband's English is not so good yet.  He was born in Nigeria and we've only been married for two years.  The doctors say they will not know the level of her abilities until she is born but gave us some information and options for services.  They told us to expect poor muscle tone, delayed development, speech delays, some distortion in her features such as slanted eyes, small ears, short neck, and a small head.  They say there are therapists who will be able to help us but there are fees.  My husband works two jobs and I work part time as a waitress so I do not have any benefits, but through my husband's jobs we manage to make ends meet and have a small savings.  I'm not sure where to go for childcare once the baby is born because we need all the money we can get for therapists and services for our child.  I don't think we can afford for me to be a stay at home mom right now.  I was planning on starting school once the baby was in childcare but now I'm not sure I can do that now with all of the financial obligations we will have.  We will need to have early intervention services available through an agency in our state.  From what we have gathered, we will need speech therapists, physical therapists and will work will physicians for any health concerns.  She may have a low resistance to infection and a possible heart defect.  We have more options than we first knew of and have to take them all into consideration for the best outcome for our child.

The Political Will to Improve Early Childhood Systems

One of the strategies that I saw being utilized was the Quality Rating and Improvement Systems also known as the QRIS.  This works towards improving the quality of our early education systems as a whole.  It focuses on improving and supporting the development of children.  The QRIS seeks to emcompass all facets of early childhood edcucation including assessments and monitoring, providing easy consumer understanding of quality eduation settings, aligning program and professional standards, and professional and program supports.  By developing a more comprehensive system for early care programs, this will ensure programs are providing the quality of services they are designed for.  Monitoring all these aspects of early education can give childrne and families that type of services they need in order for their children to be successful in school. 

There is a significant gap in how parents understand quality care and quality care programs.  By providing a more cohesive system of monitoring quality programs, teachers will have the appropriate qualifications and the type of support they need to continue providing high quality educational expriences.  Programs will maintain a level of quality the will ensure families have continuous positive eduacational experiences. 

Parent, Family and Community Engagement

Hearing the parents' stories helped me to really see the value in what I do and how much people believe in early education.  It has become even more important for me to understand and learn how I can inspire parents to advocate for themselves and their children.  Personally, I felt very inspired by how these parents really took advantage of their experiences and turned them into success stories.  It made me want to inspire my own success stories.  Professionally, I was again inspired to continue on my path of completing the Master's program and opening my own child development facility. 

The value of hearing such stories are priceless.  These stories really attest to how head start can achieve what it set out to achieve.  Costing less money in the end for the economy.  These parents accounted how they benefitted from the program and how their children benefited from the program.  How they ended up furthering their education and inspiring their children to do the same.  Policymakers, government officials and even early childhood professinals need to know how Head Start can impact lives, save the economy money, and break the cycle of poverty  when they are provided with the necessary tools, training and opportunities to touch lives.

Quality Program for All Children

At the beginning of the recession, I began watching the news on bated breath as so many educational programs were being eliminated.  Working in the field of early childhood, it seems that this is one of the first areas to be cut because our children families are not seen as important.  Many feel that  a young child's education does not matter until they enter Kindergarten and we begin paying thousands of tax dollars for children to be in special education classes and receive other services such as speech therapy, occupational therapy and even physical therapy.  People do not take into account the research that has been done proving the value of quality early education in our society.  Many seem to be under the mistaken  impression that all children can just "catch up" to others that can afford quality early education when this is not the case.

Within the next five years, I expect that people will see the effects that closing down PreK programs and other early educational programs and begin trying to find solutions for those children who were directly effected by these closings.  The idea of universal preschool will have caught on and policies will be put into place to make this happen.  Programs such as head start and early head start will be able to meet the needs of the community they serve by being able to include all children who qualify and their families will also receive the wrap around support needed to help themselves as well as their children.  Preschools will be governed by standards that all teachers have an educational background to support child development and inclusive education in the classroom. 

Young children and families will benefit greatly from these services because all children will have a chance to begin school on the same level with the same experiences as middle and upper class counterparts.  These valuable experiences expose children to a variety of educational and developmental issues that will help them become successful in school as well as in life.  The field of early childhood will be able to provide services and care for all children needing those early educational experiences.  Universal preschool, head start, early head start and special education services will provide inclusive education so that by the time children reach school age, they will already have the support in place they need, and extensive services will not be required.

What Resonates with me about Early Childhood Public Policy and Advocacy

1.  I chose this specialization because I realized that I am passionate and dedicated to children and families.  I realized many years ago that there are many families that do not know their rights or options when it comes to their children's early education.  I hope to open my own child development center and give families the tools they need and experiences that they will carry with them throughout their child's edcuational experience.  I want them to take with them a lifelong experience that they'll pass on to their children so that their children can continue to pass it own.  Public policies play a major role in how children from poverty stricken families are served and families need to be involved in how these policies will affect them and their children.

2.  Becoming an advocated in the field of early childhood is essential because there is a need for people to intervene when it comes to how our children are receiving their education before they enter school.  They need teachers who understand the importance of early education and how to provide valuable edcuational experiences for not only young children but their families as well.  Many people do not understand that families also need to be involved in their child's educational experience in oder for it to be effective and meaningful to children.  Advocating for positive educators who understand and are willing to implement strategies that are effective for families.

3.  One goal I have is to learn policies that will help me to effectively support to children and families with special needs and who are poverty stricken.
Another goal is to become a more effective advocate for this issues that parents face when trying to obtain a better education for their young children.
A third goal would be to advocate and provide community based support for those children who are poverty stricken but may not be in childcare and  still need to have the skills necessary to succeed when they enter Kindergarten.  

Team Development

When working with a group that is high functioning it is easy to feel a part of a family.  Every voice is heard and respected and attempts are made to include everyone in the overall goal of the group. In high performing groups everyone's skills and knowledge are combined to meet the group's goals.  When group members begin to identify their role in the group, it makes the direction of the group more evident.  It helps everyone know what to expect and each member something to contribute. 

It was hard leaving a high performing group when coming up with a presentation idea for NAEYC because everyone shared information and worked towards the same goal.  This group made everyone feel a valued contributor and each member had a chance to demonstrate their contribution and passion towards the goal.  This gave me the opportunity to see what being a valued contributor felt like.  It was beneficial to be a part of a group of people who understood that I had something to contribute to the goal of the group.   I would love to have had a closing ritual of some kind.  This would have helped me reflect on my participation in the group and know how I could improve the next time I was a part of a group like this.  It would also help me determine my leadership potential and know how I could better conduct groups in the future. 

I think that I will adjourn from my educational colleagues by letting them know how much I learned from them and summarizing their journey through the Master's program.  I would also like to know how they will further their experiences in the work force and if they have plans to continue on with their eduation.  Adjourning is an important step because it gives everyone a chance to see if they are in the same place to continue on their journey together, see if they have the same interests and maybe even maintain working relationships.    

Conflict Management

The Third Side presented strategies that I found very helpful.  They are "going to the balcony" and "stepping to both sides".  These methods showed me that I am on my way to becoming a more effective communicator.  Both of these skills gives each person a chance to step back and see the other persons side of the story.  This can keep conflict down when a person can truly empathize with the other.  If you take the time to stop, look and listen, this keeps everyone from jumping to conclusions and reacting on strong emotions.  When emotions become involved, then that is went conflict can escalate and become violent.
     The strategies from the conflict resolution website were also useful.  The skills presented on this website helped me to see how obstacles can become possibilities for those involved.  They also gave me insight on how to create a supportive environment for those who are involved.  These skills involve a variety of ways to help keep conflict minimal and develop a more positive with the people involved.  I plan to continue studying these skills to help me with conflict management.

 

Who am I as a Communicator

When looking at how I evaluated myself compared to how others evaluated me, I think that the results were similar.  The one that surprised me the most was that when I answered the questions on the verbal aggressiveness scale, I had significant aggression.  When others' answered, I was in the moderate category. I had one coworker and one friend "grade" me on the tests.   I thought maybe they way I read the questions was a problem with this particular test but I thought that I was really more moderate when it comes to aggression, but I made me reflect on how I speak with others professionally versus personally.  Personally I am really relaxed and joke around alot, but in my professional role I am more on guard and conscious of how I speak to others.  I figured the difference is that in my professional life I need to be more guarded so that I can feel that I am being more effective to our families. 

I do however agree with my listening style outcome and the communication anxiety inventory.  I am a people oriented listener.  At first glance I was a little surprised that it stated that this can interfere with proper judgement because I tend to be very trusting.  When I first started as a parent educator, this was true.  But since then I have learned that I need to get more back ground information before I completely trust what people are saying.  I do not blatantly call out a parent when I know that they are not telling me the who truth, but I still have to learn how to ask more effective questions without offending a person.  I am getting a lot better!  On the communication anxiety inventory my score was a 57 which is moderate.  I pretty much knew this.  I am becoming more comfortable with speaking in front of others, but still have a long way to go before I am comfortable with public speaking.

Communicating Differently

I find that as I become more and more involved with people from various background, I try to become more conscientious of the things I say and how I phrase things.  I try to be careful how I ask questions as I assess parents to find their needs for our program.  I pay more attention to facial expressions and body language than I use to and try not to jump to conclusions when they answer questions but get them to expand on their answers.

One strategy I would use to help me communicate more effectively is self reflection.  This give me a chance to think about how I react to people and why this reactions are taking place.  It also helps me to get feedback from coworkers on how I communicate with them so that I can better communicate with the families that we serve.

Another strategy is looking at the source of my communication behavior.  This has helped me examine where I learned to communicate and figure out why I am not as effective as I would like to be.  The habits that I have formed over the years, until about 3 years ago, have made me introverted.  I have always been self conscious about speaking with others who are not familiar with me and found it hard to talk to others because I was not comfortable with myself.   This was the source of my withdrawl from others.  I am learning to be more open and expressive to others I come in contact with and have noticed that others really respond positively to that. 

A third stragegy is learning about diversity, so that I don't jump to any conclusions.  I try to be sensitive to those I do not know anything else about and learn as much as I can by repeating what I thought I heard for clarity, validating strong emotions and efforts that parents and caretakers make positively for their families, and praising the work that they do put in.  The praise is really hard to do with adults, at least for me, because I never had that growing up.  It is easy to praise the little steps that children take because they are learning and growing, but subconsciously I think that adults should have it all together.  I am learning because we think that adults should have it all together, we take for granted that they are struggling just like the children they are trying so hard to raise. 

Communication

Watching Private Practice with the sound turned off made me really focus on the characters' facial expressions and body language.  Without hearing the words, some of the characters seem really hostile towards each other.  One character had her mouth drawn when speaking with another character indicatinng to me that she did not like what he was saying and then with another character she appeared as if she was about to cry.  But when I turned the sound on, she was really interested in the guy she was talking to and ended up kissing him.  So her body language was a little confusing.  It was difficult trying to interpret what they really meant or determine the plot because it was so emotional.  It made me think about what type of communicator I am.  I am not good at noticing body language and this assignment helped me to focus more what the characters were not saying. 

Since I started facilitating parenting groups, I have noticed that I do not read people very well.  This assignment helped me see that I need to practice and focus more on the things people are not saying.  Nonverbal communication is just as powerful a verbal communication, and it's those suttle things that I did not pay attention to before that I know I need more work with.  The nonverbal codes that people use during cocmmunication are very important to decipher.

Competent communication

When I think of someone with competent communication, I think of my coworker.  She is very articulate at explaining what is expected.  She asks questions until she understands what is expected and she genuinely cares for the people who listens to her.  She is excellent at providing extensive and quality information.  I think this is because not only does she love to talk, she strives to understand what is needed and expected.  She knows how to get her point of view heard in a way that everyone understands and often brings humor to any situation.  I would definitely want to model my communication style after her because she understands the importance of being heard and giving families the tools they need to advocate for themselves.  She is also very good at validating feelings of others and praising the small efforts people make towards making a positive change for their behavior!